How Should We Take Revenge or Fight Back Against a System Set to Enslave and Kill Us All?

An Amy's Trip Down Memory Lane Post

Wood Ducks, 1997 watercolor on paper. This one won third place in Ohio in the US Junior Duck stamp contest which had close to 10,000 entrants in the state. Alas, it was never featured on a US postage stamp. In retrospect I think the ducks bodies are too high in the water

Toledo, Ohio. May 1997

"And the winner of the Roy C. Start high school key for the most outstanding performance in Art goes too..." There was a drum roll.

"Jan..."

Exactly one row in front of me in the awards ceremony auditorium Jennifer Bahr stood up, her blond hair clasped in a low and careful ponytail. The announcer continued.

"Avieve Hawkins!" I stood up. Sit your ass down, honey, I thought to myself. I was up again.

I do not know why Jenny Bahr had taken it upon herself to become my rival in art, but the feeling was largely one sided because I had too much other stuff going on to care. I suppose I did criticize her in art class a few times mostly for her tendency to block out hands in her art. Her sprawling watercolor inks of human figures were often dark and moody. She was high output but they were hit and miss. Jenny’s paintings had merit, certainly, but she tended towards abstract in a way that to me indicated a bit of laziness. Then again who among artists has not been guilty of say painting over some troublesome hands in a portrait and blocking them out with some covering?

As I was walking to the front to collect another award the announcer came on again. "We've decided this year in an unprecedented move to split the Art Key. The other winner is Chance Cleghorn...and Jennifer Bahr!"

I was happy for Chance. He struggled with color as many artists do, but mastering the human figure seemed to be his great ambition. Human hands were meticulously drawn out by him in great detail and study. Chance made all of the pins and Start Spartan mascot designs for the school newspaper.

And Jenny Bahr got her art key too. She deserved it as well. She had a watercolor ink of a woman that had won an award at the prestigious Focus Congressional show, whereas my oil self portrait had only exhibited.

I was quick to note that the hands were sort of splayed out in a deformed manner in Jenny’s painting, but my teacher Nancy Hillis chided me "It doesn't detract from the overall quality of the work." Jenny's mother was some type of administrator at the school if memory serves me, so my guess is that she had been told in advance that she would be winning the prestigious senior key as most outstanding in Art.

It was my third key of the afternoon. Why science? I had been shocked by winning the Science key. I wasn't into physics or chemistry or any of that math stuff. Those were my harder subjects in school and being lazy I let them slide with Cs or Bs at best. I suppose in following in the footsteps of my ecology minded grandmother I had worked on conservation efforts. I had volunteered to plant trees and do river cleanups and test water samples around Lucas County for pollution. I helped recycle Christmas trees into mulch for a few years, which was used to aid in soil regeneration. I just figured Science was more technical and big worded than that stuff.

I had not been too surprised at winning the Choir key, although I was surprised at picking up the most outstanding vocalist award too. Mrs. Vollmer had been singing my praises for a few years regarding my transformation from an uncertain and off key alto into one of her best first sopranos in choir. I was always given the highest descants with Candie, who I did not have a rivaly with at all. I wrote about her American Idol experience here:

I thought she had the most beautiful voice I had ever heard and I strived to be just like her, singing to Les Miserables or Phantom of the Opera or Miss Saigon at home until my poor parents ears bled. I had to work at learning how to sing. Although Candie was a junior and hence not eligible for the Choir key, I was still surprised she hadn't been put on the outstanding vocalist award. I suppose she had another year in high school left.

Art, unlike singing, was just my thing. It had been since I was a young child, with many teachers and encouragement along the way. I took an interest in the way light moved through the world. Do the clouds still look the same as they did in the late 1990’s? This was an acrylic of a river sketched out on the spot in Ohio one afternoon.

I went up for the march of honor roll attendees too, which was anybody in the top 10% of the class. My father was quick to note my placement in the roster at the large public school. "So you're graduating 33rd out of 333 in your senior class?" He arched his eyebrow.

"Look Dad I wasn't trying to be valedictorian here. I just needed to be in the top 10% for the scholarships." I didn’t want to hear it from my father about my grades slipping.

Profile portrait of my father, watercolor, 1997

I had taken to high school like a duck takes to water and 1997 was a great year for Roy C. Start high school. Sports wasn't my aptitude, although I did have a good arm in the outfield and the track and field coach thought my 7:02 mile was good for a first time for a girl. Both the Start baseball and the basketball team were racking up championship wins. I appreciated the outstanding talent and effort no matter in what area God had bestowed those gifts on people. I joined after school clubs with my high school sweetheart in Quiz Bowl, Chess Club, Karate Club, Royal Choir and even in a Green party political action committee. Mr. Denman, our history and also quiz bowl teacher, dried tears from his eyes when we won the Quiz Bowl Championship the first year by beating out St. Joseph Academy. It was a district nine district one upset win as nobody beat out the Jesuit boys at the private school. My high school sweetheart received recognition for his perfect SAT score. The Start Royal Choir was invited to Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida, for some type of event. We didn't win, but we had fun. Even our karate club was kicking ass, led by third degree blackbelt and also psychology teacher Mr. Cramer.

A few weeks later I went to pick up my senior art project from Ms. Hillis after the school year had finished. This had involved using every artistic medium you had used in high school and incorporating it into a final project. What medium of art hadn't I used over the years? I never got into metal or welding but that was where the exclusions stopped. I'd used every type of paint, marker. brush, ceramic, woodworking, sculpy, femo technique that you could think of. So obviously this work had to be three dimensional and I worked on it for weeks.

I put at the center of my senior art project a tree of life. On the base I built a wall surrounding the tree with all of these words written on the bricks regarding doubts, fear, and unworthiness. The outside area was bleak and foreboding. I painted a narrow path and had a spot where some of the bricks were taken out and on the ground. At the base the tree said "LOVE".

Ms. Hillis informed me that she had failed me on my senior project. What?

"Well you were late with it!" She told me at first. I pressed her. "Okay. The only way I can keep your senior project is if I fail you for it."

Okay...

My long term main art teacher Ms. Hillis continued. "I was eligible for retirement three years ago, but then you all came along. You and Chance and Jenny put on a great show. You all are very talented, not like I'd seen in years."

"So you're retiring?" I asked.

Ms. Hillis nodded. "Yes. I'm going out on top.But I want to keep your senior project." She exhaled. Sometimes I saw her smoking cigarettes out front before class. "See most young artists, I'd say 90% of them, struggle with using color in some way. Like Chance does."

I nodded as she continued. "Now Jenny never has a problem with color, but she's not a good technical artist." I snorted.

"You combined those. You could draw, you could paint, you could do whatever you wanted to. But clearly you see in all dimensions. I'm going out on top. You were the best artist I ever had in 40 years doing this."

That's an interesting way of messing up someone's life.

"But what about my scholarship?" I asked her.

Ms. Hillis dismissed that with her hands. "All that is clear already."

I could be mad at Ms. Nancy Hillis for keeping my senior class project, but I visited her a few years later at her home and she kept it as a centerpiece on her table. I'm glad it meant so much to her. I don't usually get upset at people stealing my ideas because I'll come up with a new one in 20 minutes.

Now you might be asking yourself what this has to do with revenge and the Covid catastrophe. I'll get there. Perhaps one year ago I took an interest in finding my co Art key recipients. I couldn't find Jenny Bahr on Facebook, but Jennifer was the most popular baby girl name in America in 1979. She may well have married, changed her last name, and would be thus difficult to track down. I left it alone at the time.

I found Chance Cleghorn on Linkedin and we had a few back and forth messaging sessions. I am thrilled that he remains an artist and is working as a graphic designer for a company in Kentucky. Chance gave me advice regarding my older daughter's artwork. He's appears happily married with children. He reiterated how much he thought the splitting of the Art key had been a great decision back in 1997. It might have changed the direction of his life in an entirely positive way. My feeling was that it only helped his life for the better and I agree with him wholeheartedly.

So what had happened to Jenny? In the last few weeks this trip down memory lane had come back to me. Perhaps she seemed like exactly the type of person who could be sitting in an administrative office, perhaps even at a US Embassy somewhere, who might stamp no on some life altering document for the people on the ground who have to then deal with it. And all because I criticized her hands.

I’ve been to Disneyland too. It’s a Small World After All. So I did a deeper dive.

I wish I hadn’t. No, Jenny doesn’t work for the US Embassy as best I can tell. But my old art rival is supposedly a C Suite executive in healthcare. Now it’s not for a huge health insurance company that has a reputation for denying claims. It’s for a smaller company in the medical device tracking space. The company is going through a merger and is seeing an infusion of venture capital funding.

That had me thinking back to the statement killing of the United Healthcare CEO supposedly at the hands of one Luigi Mangione, who is claimed to have suffered from back problems but who did not ever even have an account with the company. So he was never directly denied a claim and he came from a curiously well to do family.

I’d try to contact Jenny but I have no idea what I would say if I did. She seems to have left her humble Toledo roots behind. She no doubt learned the lesson that most artists do, which is that you will never get ahead in the field unless you allow yourself to be degraded. AT that point you go to the corporate or government grind, which is quickly becoming the same thing. This applies to other artistic endeavors as well.

What began as money laundering in the 20th century for the ultra rich has turned into something even more sinister. I think the art of sexually abused and trafficked victims is probably used as a receipt of payments there as well. So those disgusting displays kept at say John Podesta’s house might have served purposes of signalling to other pedophiles while also hiding transactions.

I’ve been reading a lot of Miles Mathis commentary, which began for me with his questions regarding the CEO hit. The problem is that it seems so plausible that somebody might take out a figurehead representative of the current pain and suffering of the masses. But what figurehead would you take out, even if you had the ability to do so?

Mathis explains the upside down nature of our reality quite well:

“But these are the sort of people who run the artworld. They not only don't know the first thing about technique, they don't even know the first thing about emotion—this while promoting expression! They are blind to every last thing about art, having neither feeling nor talent nor an eye nor a basic goodwill to the idea of art. Having any of these things would prevent them from exploiting the artist to the fullest extent, so those at the top of the field are actually the least sensitive.

As with every other field of endeavor now, the standards are completely inverted. It is as if we had given a test to every person worldwide, to see who had the least sensitivity to and comprehension of art, then put them in control of it. If we did that, we would have precisely the market we have now.

After that, we give a test to everyone worldwide to see who has the least native artistic ability and the least sensitivity to emotion and truth and subtlety. We then install the winners as top artists. If we did that, we would have precisely the market we have now.

Then we give a test to everyone worldwide, to see who has the least logical and analytic mind, and the least integrity and the least concern for the truth. We then put them in control of science. We then give a test to everyone worldwide, to see who has the least amount of altruism, the least integrity, and the least fellow feeling, and we put them in control of politics. If we did that, we would have people like Rumsfeld and Cheney running things, and guess what?”

It’s at this point that I will segue into the larger story. Who does bear responsibility for the last five years of Hell since the Ides of Covid turned into the largest scale heist by the very rich in history? And who do you hold accountable? Let’s just go with the Covid debacle alone and not even speak of the wars, the sex trafficking the Great Taking or any other issue directly.

Do you go after Anthony Fauci or Bill Gates or some CEO figurehead whose policies made many lives miserable? Do you go after the talking head on the news or the dipshit paid off YouTube influencer that assured your now dead family member that the jab was safe and effective? Do you go after the university administrator who put a jab policy in place, or your former employer who did likewise? How about your kindly country doctor who convinced your wife to take it, or the pharmacist, or the respiratory therapist who put your loved one on a ventilator and forced them to die alone? What about your family member who insisted that you were no longer welcome at Christmas dinner?

Then there’s the “heroes” of the day. Operation Warp Speed’s creation of the jab means some responsibility lies there, as it should with the inventor of the mRNA that is now being pushed into everything. Not content with frail and sympathetic humans, they would rather that the AI continues the unabated thievery. Is that why they’re testing all of those drones in the Eastern sky?

The killing of United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson seemed to spark an Internet firestorm. The story itself has some inconsistencies and anomalies, but I’ve had trouble believing it was a cut from cloth CIA Central Casting script. The reason for this is that it has renewed a sense of vigilantism among the many downtrodden that does not seem to serve the interests of the ruling class. Or the rest of us, for that matter. I don’t want to live in a society where random people are shot in the street due to their supposed position. I’m not sure where that road would end.

Now I have no idea what really happened there. Perhaps Brian Thompson cut a deal with the DOJ, Central Casting came in with their special forces patsy and the former CEO has a whole new identity. He could be hanging out on a beach in Thailand, although I haven’t seen him personally. Perhaps he really is dead and Luigi Mangione really did kill him in an untargeted statement hit for the greater good or something. And then Mr. Mangione desperately wanted to get caught hence carrying all of this incriminating evidence. What hotel was he staying at in Pennsylvania for him to be caught eating at this McDonalds? Or was Mr. Mangione just sleeping at the bus station and carrying all of his worldly possessions in a new backpack? I do that too sometimes just minus the gun, the fake IDs and the manifesto. I have no idea who I would be manifestoing.

United Health share prices have not really taken a hit over it. Corporations are people too according to the Supreme Court so why is nobody thinking about the poor poor feelings of the Inc?

This whole thing does reinforce how much we the people NEED corporate government fascist healthcare. It just needs to be improved around the edges a bit. Concerns about vigilantism might be used to roll out new pre crime surveillance techniques. Elon Musk would probably love it if there was nobody in a position to say no, because they’ve all been replaced with an unaccountable borg. Who are you going to complain to then?

This musing by Miles Mathis in an article regarding Sandy Hook summed up my feelings so well. I did not write this but I agree with every word of it:

The unsavory answer would appear to be that we do not have good guy versus bad guy here. This is not a Hollywood movie. What we have is bad guy versus worse guy, DHS being worse guy. Someone is preventing the very worst DHS events, but that someone is not preventing the thousands of lesser events—although it appears they could if they wished to. They are letting these things happen, probably because they are profiting from the fear and confusion DHS causes almost as much as DHS is.

The rather sad fact of the matter is that no ruling faction in the world currently wears a white hat or cares for a New World Order. What they seem to care for is a continuation of the Old World Disorder, which they are convinced maximizes profits. I wish I could convince them otherwise, but that is very difficult to do. They have been tutored from a young age, taught that good and evil are an illusion.

Some of my readers might disagree with this, but I think the plot has been going on in much the same way for thousands of years. The names have changed and the techniques employed have become more sophisticated and all enveloping. Their entire trick revolves around the necessities of life all being counted out in dollar bills which they control access to.

In their secret societies, there is only one god, and he is not a example of monotheism.

No, their one god is power, which is a monad. There is no opposing force to power. The only opposite to power is lack of power. In this scheme of life, there is no morality, no chance of doing wrong. Everything that leads to more power is right, according to their texts.

But they are wrong, and I don't need Christianity, Islam, or Buddhism to demonstrate it. I can demonstrate it with my own life. Their theory results in their lives, my theory has resulted in my life. Who has more power? For them, it is obvious: they have more money and can therefore order things to be done. This to them is power. They can even order that I be killed.

Power. But I see it differently. Let's look at science, for a start. They can and have ordered all sorts of scientists to do all sorts of science, enriching themselves in the process. But as I have shown, all that science—centuries of it—is wrong. So these rich people and their scientists have not had the power to do real science. They have only been capable of vast amounts of fake science. All their money and power have bought them nothing real.

I have done real science without any of their funding. To me that is an indication of real power. I can do what they cannot do: power.

The same applies to art. They can hire any number of artists to create any number of modern works, but none of that is art. It is just a huge pile of expensive non-art. Same with writing. I can out-write them and all their hired hacks put together. The rich people cannot do what I do, and cannot hire anyone to do what I do. Therefore the power is mine. Since I am the one that can do these things, I have the power, not them.

This proves you cannot buy power. The only power you can buy is the power to destroy. You can buy bombs and poison and you can hire murderers. But you cannot buy the ability to create.

Yes, Donald Rumsfeld has far more power to harm people than I do, but that is not really power. Power is normally understood to be a power to create, not to destroy. Their theory of power is not a theory of power, it is a theory of anti-power. Once you define life as a monad, and throw out the dual nature of Nature, you have lost all ability to create. Either side by itself can only supply anti-power.

To create, you must believe in both sides and harness both sides. So you see, they fail even by their own standards. They define life based on power, but do not have that power. Their power is illusory, for it is based wholly on money. But their money cannot buy the life I have lived. It cannot buy them ability. You will say they can give money to charity, and through those charities they can heal people and save lives. But again, all that is an illusion created by wealthy people. Just as it was possible for me to create art and do science with almost no money, you can heal people and save people's lives with almost no money as well. Healing and saving don't require money, they require ability. They require healers and savers, not rich people.

You will say the rich can support the arts and sciences. Yes, rich people could support the arts and sciences, but the fact is they don't. Modern rich people enriched by the modern theory of power haven't even supported the arts, as their predecessors did. Instead, they have destroyed the arts, in order to further enrich themselves (as I have shown). Even when they appear to be supporting the arts, they are only supporting fake new arts which have displaced the real arts of the past.

The same can be said of new science, which isn't really science. It is only a simulacrum of science, propped up to steal money from the treasury to further enrich the rich. We may assume that patronage has changed because the patrons themselves have changed. The old patrons believed in some dual Nature; the new patrons are believers in power only. And so they have gobs of money and anti-power, none of which can buy them anything real.

I could not do what I do existing in or believing in their universe. All my creations arise from a dual Nature, and from my belief in it. That is, true power requires a dual universe, and supplication (in some form) to that dual Nature. Nature will not respond to these monad people. It is not because they are Satanists or Luciferians that she will not respond—as many believe—it is because they are monists. They have disempowered themselves via their own sad theories. Their engine will burn but it will not run. They are the one cog spinning the void, but power requires opposing cogs. It requires knowledge and belief in more than just power.

How do you change the world? I don’t think statement killings are the way to do so. Building a new paradigm that renders the old one obsolete seems like the only way to go.

What do you think? I have to leave the karma elsewhere…

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