For the last 20 hours or so I have been trying to figure out what mafia I pissed off this time. My money is on the Russian one, though you are welcome to weigh in.
The story goes something like this. My husband Ka, after suffering through 95 degree heat and working brutal days in the hot sun at the construction site, got paid last night on Saturday. Now he gets 2000 baht/$70 per week, which is a pittance considering the 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM, one hour break at lunch between 12:00-1:00, six day a week shifts he’s been working. I understand that there is a slight offset as he is also staying at the construction site, but still. It’s not very much money.
So being a Saturday night both me and Ka set to drinking. Now I don’t think we were doing anyone any harm. Brother Tee had taken the motorbike (yes there is a new/very old motorbike here) so we walked down the hill to the main red light bar laden strip to get some more beer and whiskey. I was singing and Ka was dancing behind me. That’s when it happened.
Two men on a big motorbike pulled up very suddenly and started punching Ka in the face and dragging him to their bike. I saw what they were doing and started screaming
“That’s my husband!”
”Oh so sorry.” The fatter Thai hitman said. The other guy was left handed based on his punches. “This your friend you?”
“Yes!” I screamed. “Yes! This my friend me!”
“So sorry madam. We don’t know.” The hitman made eye contact with me as his friend pulled Ka onto his feet. “We don’t know. Okay okay.”
Now I’m wondering what the going rate on hits is in Thailand. 10,000 baht? 20,000 baht? This was a sloppy operation as those things go and I’m not entirely sure they even wanted to kill Ka but they definitely were sending a message. And isn’t killing so much cleaner than leaving witnesses behind?
Now somewhat obviously I’ve been trying to figure out who would put a hit on my husband ever since. I’ll admit my life is probably more interesting than yours at this point.
I’ve been here two weeks and Ka has been working close to two months here. As best I can tell my husband has been mild mannered, sober and respectable in his interactions. The foreman is a good family man whose wife sometimes comes to the site and whose teenage son also works here. He’s straightforward and wants the job done with no drama. Unless Thailand has come up with some Covid bounty hunter esque scheme where citizens are worth more dead than alive, I can’t fathom a motivation someone would have at the construction site to put a hit out on my husband. Ditto for say brother Tee, where the motivations sound counterproductive at best.
“Somebody put a hit on my husband.” I explained to Rolf last night after this event happened. Now I have a soft spot for Rolf as sexpats go. The Norwegian man just sat down across from us some nights ago demanding answers. He walks with a limp and is getting up to the age where he needs less of a bar girl and more of a caregiver. Other than my husband getting a little drunk and repeatly insisting on showing Rolf his new passport some nights ago I can’t think of any interaction there where Ka might have pissed someone off here either.
Also does Norway even have a mafia? I haven’t heard about it. Asking for a friend who is also me.
So then I’m back to Mr. “I don’t like golf” with the seductive eyes. The Russian mafia, as it were. I’m sure he likes a lot of things better than golf. I can transcribe that 7 Eleven conversation as roughly this:
The Russian guys. “Hey baby you’re hot.”
My husband. “This my wife she! Isn’t she beautiful!”
The younger guy. “Hey baby I’m rich. Why don’t you ditch that loser for a real man?”
Me. “Dude I’m old! Don’t you have some 16 year old that you could be molesting? I’m not for sale.”
My husband Ka. “Isn’t she perfect?” Kisses me on the cheek seductively.
Russian dude. “DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM???”
Me. “Yeah, you’re a dipshit. And gross. Drunk on money and power. Leave us alone.”
Yeah I’m thinking the money shot here is on the Russians. What does a life cost here? You are more than welcome to weigh in.
And now some memes. This one needs a good caption:
That’s some snark….
I love Bob Ross. I actually learned a lot from him
On the plus side Happy Saint Patrick’s Day. We’re still alive…
I didn’t vote for any of this. It is what it is…
"I don't like golf"
-LOL
Amy, yes your life is far more interesting than mine (I'm grateful.) I hope that's the end of that. Very unnerving - amazed how you keep your sense of humor. Best.