What Do You Dream About?

This is Actually a Literal Question

'The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist”—Charles Baudelaire

My last substack post in which I wrote regarding curing my husband’s epilepsy initiated a larger conversation around sleep wake cycles, sleep paralysis, night terrors, demonic possession and the like. This has inspired me to write a larger esoteric post regarding these things and my own dreams. God told me to pay close attention to my dreams a few weeks ago. I am and will go into the three I have had since I returned to the Land of Smiles.

This marble statue is named the Release from Deception, or Il Disinganno. It was painstakingly carved by Genoese sculptor Francesco Queirolo and was produced over a period of 7 years from 1752-1759

For contrast let’s see what happened to Pablo Picasso:

I am not sure it was the Communist party per se. A lot of modern art coming from that era seems distasteful to me. Here’s an example from American painter Jackson Pollock, entitled “Number 2” from 1951. I’d prefer to entitle this “Homeless man, withdrawing from meth, shits on canvas and spreads it around with a pallet knife.” :

That brings me to this guest post on Postcards with Barsome. Is it time to make Demon Slaying Great again? And how would we go about that?

Make Demon-Slaying Great Again

As guest writer Ahnaf Ibn Qais writes:

“We are under Attack!

The signs are undeniable. Hundreds of millions of the unborn are murdered each year with caprice; the ‘Elite’ harvest them for so-called 'medical' purposes. The Western nations have all but surrendered their sovereignty to nameless, faceless fools and puppets. Their people spit, mock, ridicule, and jeer at their forefathers without a care in the world.

Faith in God Almighty is viewed as a delusion, while the false deity of 'the Science' is exalted at the DIE-ing academies throughout the West. Today, these places are nothing more than sacrificial altars where the young are deracinated from their cultures and tossed into empty lives stripped bare of values, meaning, purpose, and significance. ‘The Science,’ as a false divinity, lusts for human blood sacrifices in said manner without end. History, culture, law, and legacy are mere constructs viewed as meagre vanities pursued by the illiterate and unjust. The ‘Elite’ dismantle, destroy, edit, and erase all these with impunity.

The idea that pleasure, pain, and related materialistic measures can account for the sheer propensity of the Evil around us no longer appeals to the thinking man. Stragglers adhering to materialistic thinking remain, but their protestations get increasingly brushed aside.  

The reason is that how they speak and think about the world has lost relevance. Narratively, such models are no longer helpful. Today, the 'everyman' cannot count on yesterday's 'scientific minutiae' to speak candidly about the DOOM of his time. He may yet find some facts and figures conducive to thinking about other areas of life in materialistic science. But such models are today a spent force for matters concerning ultimate meaning, significance, and purpose. Especially with the reality of today's 'Problem of Evil.' 

Occasionally, some manner of consequentialist morality still finds acceptance among the laity. But the scale and scope of calamities tear them away from such thinking daily with brutal efficiency. The sentiment of 'I have seen evil, and so am no longer a materialist' is rapidly becoming the norm. For those yet to be convinced, only further calamity from this point onward will suffice to 'jolt them awake.' Frankly, some of the stuff is so 'in your face' that for many people, argument is unnecessary. Instead, one needs to 'show' and not 'tell:'

We come, then, to a fork in the road. We can either continue pursuing materialistic meta-narratives and plough ahead as before, eschewing the supernatural and thereby looking for strictly naturalistic motives for why it is the 'Elite' of the various organs of state and corporate power behave as they do. If so, we get to nonsense like Sam Harris pontificating about 'pain & pleasure' or Jordan Peterson talking about 'lobsters & hierarchies.' Such reductiones ad absurdum should show this fork's tine as untenable. 

The alternative is to acknowledge that supernatural forces are at play here, that actual Evil manifests in the world around us, and that without accounting for it, the motives of men to partake in it remain something unaccounted for whether one appeals to money, fame, power, influence, or any other merely human temptation. As we look out into the world and see child trafficking, demon t***nies, and actual sacrificial rituals done to commune with Demonkind, Man's ancient adversaries rear their ugly heads once more. Thus, this fork of the argument cannot simply be chucked to the wayside, for the lived reality of such enormous evils (over and above typical evils of the day) indicates the existence of Supernatural hands at work in our realms.”

I am going to give a Clif Notes version of some really crazy stuff I got into. A lot of bad things happened during my childhood and adolescence and, in a hurt people hurt people type of way, I did some bad things. I also dabbled in multiple modalities of channeling/communicating with the dead as it were, from seances to ouija boards to teenage girl games such as “Light as a feather, stiff as a board.” I was the medium conduit in many cases, chosen because I was a virgin, surrounded by girls who were overwhelmingly not that.

Now I was naive as it were and absolutely never engaged in a direct attempt to summon any dark forces. I never went into the dark magic of casting curses, say. I also never underwent any type of ritual initiation into anything unless you count, say, baptism and confirmation into the Catholic church and Buddhist monk water blessings. This was more Becky wants to talk to her grandma type of stuff.

This matter of naivete I think is important in these matters (forgive them, father, for they do not know what they do), which is perhaps why this is coming to head in the here and now as it were. For example the US dollar contains some arguably Satanic imprints. Does that mean that every dollar exchanged is unwittingly bringing forth a Mark of the Beast system? The name Jesus Christ would have transliterated to something closer to Yeshua. Does that mean that every Christian rock hit praising the name of Jesus is actually invoking something else? And what of those church choirs and Sunday hymnals? I believe those who are naive can be saved.

That said do I think my dabbling opened a portal? Absolutely. Paranormal events abounded especially in my house in Toledo, Ohio, from the haunted radio to sightings in windows to visitations. Things turned themselves on and off spontaneously and things set themselves on fire spontaneously, including, incidentally, a Ouija board. My parents and even my older brother insisted that this was all my overreactive imagination.

At 14 years old or so that all stopped, except that parts of it moved into my dreams. It remains there though some if it is quite mundane.

For example shortly after I returned to Thailand three weeks ago I had a dream in which my father (deceased 12 July 2014) was talking to me. In my dream we were at the Las Vegas house and he wanted to drive the car somewhere. We opened the garage but the car was gone. I told my Dad that Mom must have gone to Church.

“Where is she?” My Father seemed frantic after a time about this. Mom had been away too long and even I was becoming worried about her. I tried to calm my dad down. Mom probably went to a store after church and you know how slow she can be and…

In my dream an ambulance pulled up to the front of our house and my heart skipped a beat. Was Mom okay? Behind it was a tow truck carrying the wreckage of the car. The dream ended with my Mom getting out of the back of the ambulance and explaining that there had been a small accident. My father began berating Mom about how worried he had been and telling her not to go to Church so often.

Tow trucks and ambulances in dreams both signify a need for help from outside forces. In real life a few days after this dream my Mother informed me that our old Nissan Sentra, on its last legs for awhile, had finally crapped out mechanically. It kept on stalling out while driving and doesn’t want to start afterwards. A few hours later the car will start once the engine is cooled down even though it shows no signs of overheating. We had tried multiple small fixes from changing the battery, the alternator, the cam shaft sensor, engine flushes, oil changes, changing the air filter, gas treatment et cetera. It could be 1,000 other things.

Mom got a new to her used car but the old one is registered in my name and she needs help anyways. This dream was incredibly straightforward and self explanatory regarding her need for help and perhaps my own. My father is the most common dead relative by far to show up in my dreams, though I’ve had multiple dreams with my first husband Oh, Grandma and Grandpa Hawkins and others. Our conversations are seamless as though my father never died at all and he carries all of the personality, mannerisms and concerns he had during life. Mostly he appears as how he was during most of my adult years, neither decrepit and in failing health as he was at the end nor vibrant and handsome as he was when I was a child. Now am I really talking to him or is it just a product of my subconscious mind? I think it could be both.

A Covenant With God

I believe that miracles happen every day. I think anyone reading this is one. I have witnessed miraculous healings. In every case this is shrugged off by doctors as though they are unable to acknowledge it at all. I mentioned my husband’s epilepsy and this went into a deeper dive into sleep/waking cycles. Has a doctor ever asked you about the content of your dreams? Most don’t even ask about the quality of your sleep.

There was a miraculous healing which involved me in my mid 20’s. I’m not going to go into the medical details of it here. But I will say that there were five words spoken by a doctor matter of factly and befuddled at my level of concern that bring tears to my eyes every single time I think about them. I am crying now. Those five words were:

“You have a normal pregnancy.”

I began prayer and meditation and formed, over the course of several years, a Covenant with God. There was no one else I could go to except the creator of life. Now the Covenant has multiple aspects including of course all of your basic Ten Commandments stuff. God told me that I was to be a messenger of sorts and that my life and lived experiences would form a map. Somewhat obviously I cannot bear false witness (ie. knowingly lie) as every name, number and location carries a unique vibrational signature. This stuff stopped looking random a long time ago to me.

It’s gotten to the point where I’m not sure an outsider could easily tell which things happened which were real life experiences and which were dreams I had. Consider the following five vignettes. Can you guess which one of these was a dream?

1. The ocean waves are cresting over the small Thai longtail boat we are all in. I realize in looking at the islands in the distance that we are at least five or six miles from the nearest solid ground. When one large wave tilts the boat to a 90 degree angle and washes over our heads, I realize frantically that we have no life jackets onboard. I scan the water assessing my odds of being able to swim to shore. Are there sharks in the water? I realize then with a sense of dread that I am on my period and don’t sharks smell blood? I tell this to somebody else on the boat.

“No worries.” He assures me. “There’s dolphins in the water too. They can take you to shore.”

2. I am in the emergency room of the hospital that I was born in. They are running test after test and I have an IV in my arm. I’m terrified that I’ll need to go to the ICU like my husband did. I keep on looking at the clock as I have a flight to Las Vegas that is leaving later that day. I am sure I am going to miss my flight. Somehow I arrive to the airport just in time.

3. We are riding horseback up to the foot of a volcano with my baby in a tummy carrier strapped to my waist. We step over the lava flows and take pictures but something is wrong and my feet are getting too hot. With some horror I realize that my shoes are melting off and we run down the volcano’s slopes back to safe ground. Later I read that this volcano had an eruption in which thousands of people sadly lost their lives.

4. My brother and his family have taken up a timeshare in the Colorado Rockies as my sister in law’s cousin is getting married in the area. The whole family is there and my brother proudly informs me that he got this huge place for almost nothing as the timeshare was currently under construction. That said it is hard to figure out bedding arrangements for all of the girls and Mom and my ex. My mother begins trying to piece together a Buddha amulet that my husband had broken before he died. I tell her it’s not a good idea to glue the glass together and that we should just get a new case for it.

5. It is Christmas day in Phuket and all of the gifts have been unwrapped already. I hear dogs barking in front of the bungalow and think it sounds like trouble. My husband begins yelling and grabs a long bamboo pole. As I come along the side of a brick wall a large bull calf barrels towards me. I jump out of the way but the cow’s body still slams me into the wall. I barely manage to keep from being trampled underfoot. We find the calf stuck in a pit and desperately bleating for its mother.

   If you are still reading and have an idea which one of those was dream, let me know in the comments.

   My second dream since I have been in Thailand was a terrible nightmare. I explained a bit of this in my comments section:

   Luke

   Mar 21Liked by Amy Sukwan

   Was reading this piece from John Carters post cards from Barsoom. If you don’t currently read JC I can’t recommend enough. He’s one of the best writers on SS. This particular piece was written by a guest writer that have become fond of Ahnaf Ibn. He is a Muslim Scholar and brilliant mind all the way around. The pinned comment is from Kimberly Steele who told me what was happening. She has a SS too and another brilliant mind. I would tell you to look thru the comments between us 4 peeps but there’s a lot of them.

   I was speaking about my psychedelic use in my younger days and somehow we transitioned to a phenomena that plagues me called Sleep Paralysis (SP). All of them agreed it is a terrifying experience. Tho none seem to have been subjected to the length of time and horror that I had dealt with in the past. If you google SP you will see what some people experience (demons visiting you while you sleep).

   This started on me in my mid 20’s but have a feeling that I dealt with it long before that. For 10 years I had no clue there was even a scientific term known as SP. For a while I was scared to tell anybody about it as I thought I was cracking up. Every night I would go to sleep frightened. I would deal with it for years 2 to 3 times per week.

   Most of the time it was a dark figure with demonic laughter visiting but every now and then it would sit on my chest and try to steel my breath. It helped when I got a dog. At least the anxiety went down.

   Well last night for the first time in years it got physical again. Just adopted a new dog 2 days ago and he pawed me in the back and woke me. When I woke I noticed my 4 bowls of vinegar were ALL empty. I filled them mother fuckers back up quick.

   Kimberly is the one who told me what is happening. She told about the vinegar and why it works. Dream Catchers also work. That term sounds cozy but in reality they’re more like Devil/demon nets (traps). I would copy and paste what she emailed to me but it would take multiple attempts. She an excerpt from her book which is not out yet. That’s why I said Amy can email me I think. I put my email in for Kimberly but she said bots will get a hold of it. So if you want me to forward it to you let me know and I will put it in and then erase it real quick.

   A little more about me. Am a pretty good sized dude. I have guns everywhere and have been in no less than 20 violent encounters with other men over the years. Some of them were very violent (fights). Just trying to convey to you how badly these visitors scared the shit out of me.

   Anyhow sorry no proof reading and apologies for any sloppiness. Have got to run. Heidi has the excerpt from Kim S. I forwarded it to her. She’s on Amy’s comments sometimes I think.

   So you know; and you can’t get any fucking crazier than that. 🤣

   Amy Sukwan

   5 hrs agoAuthor

   My sleep paralysis, as it were, was diagnosed as sleep apnea by a doctor when I was at University. She prescribed me some sleeping pills, treated it very matter of factly and shrugged it off. I never filled the prescription for the pills.

   It is terrifying for me and I had a time in my early 20's where I never wanted to go to sleep sober. In these nightmares I cannot move and I cannot breathe in real life. The themes vary from being buried alive in a coffin to falling in a very large hole to being surrounded by men who push my face into something. I especially despised sleeping alone and warned a few boyfriends that if they ever saw me in an extremely agitated state to violently shake me awake. I know exactly what traumatic event in my life likely led to this.

   In my early 20's I took an interest in dream control i.e. a way to bail myself out of these nightmares when they would occur. This worked well enough and with some deep meditiaton and prayer the nightmares went away. I never even told my first husband Oh about the existence of them, as it had been so many years since I had had one of these nightmares occur.

   They came back in 2021 when facemask mandates in Thailand led to me being a near pariah. I'm writing about it now...

This nightmare I had was my first true Freddy Krueger dream. Now in real life, when I was six years old, my Uncle Scott decided to take me out to some fun places one day to get me out of the house. My baby sister Elizabeth had died some weeks before and my parents were kind of nuts and I get it. I remember it as the first time I ever ate chain fast food, which I think was from McDonald’s, though my father had liked a family business that sold 25 cent hamburgers on Tuesdays in Oceanside before this. I had certainly had hamburgers and French fries before this.

Being January or so in Ohio it was cold so Uncle Scott decided to take me to the movies. This was also the first time I ever saw a movie on a big screen.

“I think you remember how terrible his choice was.” I reminded my daughter a few days ago.

“I know. I know. Nightmare on Elm Street.” Jasmine responded.

“Now I don’t remember if it was the first one or the second one or whatever.” It was January of 1986 or so. “But I think you can quickly see how bad it was to take a six year old girl who had just lost her sister to an R rated horror movie of this type.”

“Yes.” Jasmine mused. “Definitely not good parenting.” Now my uncle is a never married no children type, but still.

I don’t think I slept for a week after that movie. I was terrified that I was going to die in my sleep. I insisted on sleeping in my parents bed, something they reluctantly agreed to with them often putting me to bed in my room after I nodded off. It was a bad time for the family all around.

Coming back to March of 2024, here is what I recall of that sleep paralysis or sleep apnea or whatever it was diagnosed as nightmare.

“This is it.” The Devil said in the dream. “We’re taking you down to hell and you have to face off with all of your demons. If you can’t do it you will die in this dream. And in real life.” I was taken to the farthest chamber far underground and I knew the oxygen was running low, least of all with the fire in the background. “If you die in this dream, you will die in real life.” It was repeated to me. A band of demons surrounded me.

I couldn’t breath and I couldn’t seem to bail out of the nightmare either. “Gen! Gen!” Ka began violently shaking me awake. “You crazy.” He said after a minute or two. “I see you chok chok chok.” He made a signal with his hand to his throat of choking. “I thinking you die sure.” My husband bailed me out as I have told him to do since 2021 when they came back.

So how do you defeat demons? I think acknowledging their existence at a personal, spiritual and metaphysical level is a good start.

I can’t imagine the Devil would want something from us if he’s better already…

So I’ll close with my third dream since I’ve been in Thailand this time. This one was while I was on an overnight bus from Phuket to Bangkok somewhere on the evening early morning of March 18-March 19, which are mine and my husband’s birthdays as it were. There’s crosses all around on this one. It’s also the first time I can recall having a dream while travelling in the real sense, whether on an airplane, a train or a bus. Usually they don’t offer very comfortable sleep.

This is what I messaged BFF 3 regarding the apocalyptic dream:

I had a dream that night an apocalyptic crazy dream. God has been telling me to pay close attention to my dreams.

In my dream Ka was driving this car like he was a taxi driver showing my brother this new house we stayed in. Andy was in the front seat and Eliza and me were in the back seat.

Where the dream was located in the world is impossible to say. It was like a composite of many places I've been: there were rock desert hills like Las Vegas in the distance, but tropical palm groves like Thailand in the middle. It reminded me of Maui in that from almost any elevated location on any road you could see ocean blue water at the bottom.

Ka drove towards our new house but there had been heavy rain and flooding on the roads before. He was giving Andy a tour of the area when it started happening.

On the desert hills there was this bloop! bloop! bloop! sound as these black bubbles popped up from the ground. I described it to Jasmine as I guess close to what maybe oil looks like when it spills from the ground, but that's not accurate as it was like nothing I had ever seen before. These black blobs were like black holes, like antimatter that was coming to suck up the world. Some lava begin spilling out from the top of the mountain at the same time. Ka decides he needs to drive up the mountain back to our house as he has left something important there. I start panicking that that's the wrong way. We need to go down the hill towards the water.

He drives up towards our house. Lava is spilling onto the roads. Some cars begin blowing up, presumably from their gas tanks getting too hot. Some firetrucks are trying to spray the road with water. More and more black holes appear.

Ka finally starts driving down towards the water. I am oddly calm by this point like if this is going to suck the whole world up well, see you all on the other side I guess. The dream ends with this apocalyptic scene of lava and exploding vehicles and black blobs popping up everywhere. Yet the ocean water down below still looks a serene blue like nothing is happening. I decide what will be will be

I’m not sure what to make of all of this, but this is an open ended esoteric post. All that is hidden will be revealed methinks. Perhaps that 95% of our brains we supposedly don’t use has simply been intentionally kept unconscious.

What’s in your dreams? And how do you defeat demons per say?

Your life has meaning…

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