My intuition says brother Tee is beating up my husband for his lunch money. I'm treading very cautiously and trying to buy some time. I wish Ka had reported the motorbikes stolen, but he didn't want to make a fuss over it since it was his brother and all. It's a slippery slope and I'm contemplating getting the police involved, though I'm not really sure what they could do...
I'm messaging with the neighbor but I'm not sure he'll be able to help other than tell me whether Ka is staying at the bungalow (he is not). Kuhn Chef has reiterated that Ka is indeed scared of Tee and this mafa stuff, but he did not give any input on whether I should alert the police...
Can we help you clarify the situation? I'm going to ask you a whole bunch of clarifying questions. Many of them are unthinkable. Many of them will seem outrageous. I don't know you, or your family, or the Thai culture. What you describe is clearly very very upsetting. It seems you are hoping for a good outcome. It seems terribly hard not to be able to trust and rely on your family! I will try to think with you about this situation. REMEMBER, though. I can't tell you what you should do.
THE QUESTION
Ka, your husband, has been "kidnapped by his brother Tee." Should you send him ransom money? Can you? Do you have $50 to send? Will that be enough? What you want to decide is should you send money to Ka?
FIRST: What happens to Ka if you don't send it? You didn't discuss this outcome. Does Tee harm Ka? Does Ka lose his job? (Is he unemployed.)
Further discussion: Why is Ka so eager to get money? It sounds like Tee is the one who really needs the money. Does Tee owe money to the Thai mafia? Will the mafia harm Tee if Ka doesn't pay Tee?
You say Tee kidnapped Ka. How does Tee prevent Ka from leaving?
You say Tee is an addict. You have given Tee money previously (I'm not rereading your post correct me if I'm wrong.) Tee has stolen possessions from you. Tee has lied to you and to Ka and to the mafia. The mafia is bad. Is Tee also "bad" (meaning untrustworthy)? I don't think Tee is uncomfortable with taking your money and lying and/or stealing. It seems he has done this before.
Tee wants to be able to do what he wants with no consequences or responsibilities. In fact he probably doesn't think of drugs and consequences in the same thought. Probably all he thinks is "I REALLY REALLY need to take drugs because I'm feeling bad" (unhappy victim) AND THEN "I REALLY REALLY need money to pay off my drug dealers or I will get hurt (unhappy victim) But he never puts drug use together with its consequences.
He has gotten in trouble with the Thai Mafia before. PREDICTION: Tee is an addict. He will be unable to control his addiction (based on past history). The Mafia will, therefore, always be a threat to you and Ka because of Tee.
Does Tee promise to reform? Does Ka hope Tee will behave and plead with you on Tee's behalf?
Is sending the money the end of the matter?
MY CONCLUSION
Tee is on a repetitive treadmill. Needs drug. Has no money. Borrows money from the Mafia (or steals from them. to get drugs) Mafia threatens him when he fails to repay them. He promises he will get the money. Eventually, he gets it from Ka--and then from you if Ka has no money. You are too scared of the Mafia to refuse him. He pays off the Mafia. NOW RETURN TO BEGINNING OF THIS PARAGRAPH AND KEEP REPEATING
You can't get Tee to stop. He and the Mafia are happy because they can rely on you and Ka to fund Tee's addiction. You are thinking Tee will say "That was a close call! I avoided the Mafia by the skin of my teeth. I'm ashamed that I lost control of my drug addiction. I'm ashamed that I put my brother and sister in law in peril. I am so grateful they bailed me out (again). I will never do anything like this again." (until next time)
Tee is deluded (majority of addicts are deluded). He will be happy and grateful that you bailed him out. WHEW! Need some drugs to celebrate! OR Need some drugs to feel better because of depression. Can't function without drugs. Jealous of you and Ka. You OWE him this money because he's an unhappy Mafia victim and life has dealt him a raw deal.
Ask your friends and relatives what they think. What does Ka say? Ask him if he is scared of the Mafia. Ask him if he thinks Tee will pay off the Mafia or spend your money on drugs. Ask him if he is free to leave. I don't think you can talk to Tee or the Mafia. They will do what they can to get more and more money from you. Maybe Tee has also managed to convince Ka that this time will go better.
I'm so sorry for everybody. I recently read a Meme which showed graffiti reading "Life is pain." Another graffiti artist appended, "AU CHOCOLAT." It now reads: "Life is pain AU CHOCOLAT."
Are you the golden goose, the horn of plenty, the magic fairy? Once they realize you will do everything possible to give them money, they will never stop. Do you agree?
Is Ka deluded? Is he able to think past this crisis? Do Tee and Ka think only in the short term (most addicts don't have long range plans--they are using drugs to cope in the short term.) In that case Ka is really upset that his brother is hurting (is Tee also going through withdrawal?). Maybe Ka feels responsible? Ask Ka why he thinks you should give Tee money. Because it worked so well previously?
Oh Amy, the only thing I believe is that you can't trust Tee or the Mafia. Use your money to help Ka leave Tee and separate himself from Tee who seems a bad influence.
I know that's what you're trying to do. One thing you could do is interview someone who knows the mafia to find out what is most likely to happen if Tee doesn't pay off his debt. No chance of treatment for Tee? Does Tee even WANT to get rehabilitated? Ka has known Tee longer than you have. Does he trust him?
You didn't mention this, but can you appeal to the police? Are they corrupt? If I were the police I would have trouble believing that a brother could kidnap his brother and demand ransom from his sister in law. The fact that Ka is demanding the money seems terribly suspicious. Do you ever talk to Tee? What does Tee tell you? Can you threaten Tee that you will have him arrested (possession of drugs) if he bothers you?
What do you think of risk/benefit ratio for mRNA Covid vaccines?
What do you think of risk/benefit ratio for eating a sugary donut one time? Or getting regular nights of sleep?
What do you think of risk/benefit ratio of paying ransom money to Tee?
What good thing (benefit) is likely to happen if you give Ka and Tee $50?
Tee and Ka will be happy.
Ka will return to you.
Tee will pay off his debt.
Tee will control his drug use or other expenses so he doesn't have to ask you for more money
What's the risk for giving Tee money?
You lose your money
Tee needs more money and kidnaps Ka again--and you are in the same situation again
What good thing (benefit) will happen from NOT giving Ka and Tee $50?
You won't lose your money.
Tee is less likely to ask you again for money.
What's the risk of NOT giving money to Ka and Tee?
You didn't save Ka and will feel guilty for not trusting him and his brother
The Mafia will harm Tee or Ka.
You have to face uncomfortable truths--can you trust your family?
Ka will never forgive you and you will experience severe marital conflict which is awful because you love your husband.
Whatever you decide to do--Thank you for your substack. Also: You seem like a wonderful person and wife.
Diana you are absolutely spot on regarding everything you posted especially as it regards Tee's addiction. This story of relapse and recovery on this cycle is over two decades old. Mar, my mother in law and their mom, lamented this stuff for years. I've seen Tee in every stage of addiction: there's the maintanance stage where he's working, making enough to fund his habit, laying low and minding his own business, then there's the crack up stage where he's sort of self destructing and doesn't care who he hurts in the family. I've seen him trying to detox from his addiction (that's a total mess he eats everything in sight sleeps all the time and doesn't clean up or sometimes even flush the toilet in the bathroom). Because I've stayed with the family I'd say he's lived with us or in a next door bungalow say for maybe 1-2 years of that time.
I've also seen brother Tee totally clean and sober and talking a good game, as he did when he came out of prison on March 1 of 2020 after a two year stint. He was enthusiastic about staying clean and getting a job driving taxis again. Unfortunately March of 2020 was about the worst time in the world for a recovering addict to come out of jail and want to become a taxi driver. Covid stupid caused many a junkie relapse and Tee was one of them: they threw money at people and told them to stare at walls and forgo all of the scheduled activities that kept them clean.
I have never given Tee money directly. During 2020 however when I was seperated from my husband in the USA I did send Ka several Moneygrams, which I later learned had mostly been used to fund Tee's habits. Any money I send Ka will NOT go to Ka at all. That much I do know.
I am considering going to the police on this. Tee can sometimes get violent if his back is against a wall. Junkies unfortunately are good at fabricating stories to justify their behavior. I think he's justifying it with this idea that we contributed to his brother and mother's death somehow.
The mafia stuff is the wildcard here. They have no reason to kill my husband, say. Sending money enables the cycle to continue and it really never seems to end. A lot of my desperation to get Ka out of Phuket and to America is to get out of this situation. It's like the air is clearer without this cloud hanging over us...
Yes. Killing your husband would be like killing the goose that lays the golden eggs. No more money if that happens. Also possible involvement with the police!
Tee is like a drowning person who grabs at any swimmer who tries to rescue him. When I took lifesaving, they trained us to be careful because drowning people would push us down in their quest to save themselves. In their desperate need they don't consider whether they are harming others--or even, as you describe above, feel justified. SO SORRY you are going through all this.
Excellent questions, Diana. I would swear you’ve brain-scanned me : ) I tend to sort through details and game-out decisions until it’s too late to act, and the chips fall where they may. My son accuses me of analysis paralysis. Often, there’s already a still, small voice in my head—call it intuition—that tells me I need to do what I don’t really want to do, although it would be best in the long run. Some kind of middle road seems wise, but it’s still tough!
I'm like you. I love sorting out details. I also like interviewing everyone around me to see what they think. Finally, I think the action I will or should take emerges--like the messages from the 8 ball that I used to play with as a child.
Sometimes, calculating angles is more interesting than solving issues. Or maybe I have a touch of learned helplessness. I hope not! I’ll have to think about it ; ) My son is a bit like me that way, except he’s a pretty good golfer who believes “just relax and take a swing” is the more productive way to go. There’s merit in that too. It’s all about balance, no?
Amy, I would just apply the saying we have all been saying, which is, You cannot comply your way out of tyranny. I think it applies on all scales and in all situations. You are not responsible for the evil deeds of a drug addict. I know the repercussions may be deep, but that evil bro is playing on your guilt. You are not guilty.
That's what has been going on for a very long time. Playing on guilt is the exact correct phrase for it he does it to Ka too we've got similar astrology. Both me and my husband were relieved when Tee stole everything because at least he left afterwards...
I love the memes, but I do know a mom who “loves” her adult daughter so much she bailed her out of jail twice in six months for the same offense. Daughter skipped both times, then got busted a third time and held without bail. Now she’s spending a year in jail when she could have paid a fine for the first offense and learned a lesson. Sometimes, enabling bad behavior feels like being a loving and tolerant shelter, but it becomes co-dependence. IMHO, when daughter lit her own boat on fire, she needed tough love, not fuel and more rope. I don’t know if any of that applies to you and Ka, so I’m lifting up prayers for y’all.
if i have to choose, do i a) hang out on the beach with my lovely exotic wife (exotic being a culturally relative term) or b) go off on a bender with my addict brother who just stole all my shit.
LOL unfortunately the lovely exotic wife is not there to hang out with right now. I hope I'm being tongue in cheek on the kidnapped thing Ka probably was lured out by brother Tee wanting to talk or something and now he's stuck somewhere. My husband did not want Tee to know he was staying at the bungalow alone, if that tells you anything...
the Tee bungalow burglary happened how long ago? hopefully this is a rescue mission or intervention or maybe repossession of what was taken that hasn't been sold? Tee has been a known quantity for awhile. good people do horrible things when they have a monkey on their back
Yeah I started asking about the motorbikes when I had Ka on video and even dropped something about how we should have called the police about that. The tone changed but in a good way in that Tee and Ka went to work an odd job together painting a house. I've just been stalling for time on the money but it seems to be a winning strategy...
Yes, he will come back . . . and come back . . . and come back. People like that have zero morals. He probably won't even waste any brain cell energy feeling guilty. You will not be able to appeal to his "better self" to resolve this. Kidnappers always threaten the kidnapees' families to NOT go to the police. But trying to pay a ransom on their own frequently doesn't go well. This is comparable to dealing with terrorists . . . if one tries to negotiate and pays a ransom, it just encourages them TO DO IT AGAIN. Which is why the only sane response is to NOT give in to their demands, even though that often results in a tragic outcome for the kidnapped victims. It is really a lose-lose scenario dealing with immoral criminals, which obviously is what Tee is. And certainly the Mafia! If you successfully appease Tee this time, what's stopping him from doing it again? If you CAN buy Ka's freedom, he MUST be prepared to get the hell "out of Dodge" where his brother can NEVER find him again!!!! My guess is, from things you have said in the past, that the cops are too corrupt and/or too disinterested to ever be able to prevent a repeat of this incident. IF you can buy Ka's freedom this time, going to the cops might just end up making things worse for Ka because Tee will then have a reason for revenge. Does Ka have a trusted friend (or relative with no contact with Tee) in another town that he could take shelter with? Then, somehow you need to do something about the immigration thing. Mexico? It's dangerous, but it sounds like Thailand is dangerous now, too! If he could hook up with the U.N. mass relocation program (U.S. invasion operatives!), at least he would get transportation, food, etc. Unless something else is seriously (realistically) on the table— in the way of finally getting a U.S. visa— he may not have any better options.
Unfortunately, any way you look at it, this is a bad situation. Hopefully things will work out, but you also need to realize that it is possible they won't. "The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray"!
At times like this we need to keep things in perspective: this time-space physical reality is an illusion. We are NOT these physical bodies. It is our Soul, our Consciousness, that is a part of Infinity or Source Energy: THAT is what we REALLY ARE, and nothing bad can really ever happen to us! When we shed our physical bodies we just re-enter the Non-physical, and it is completely okay. We, on this side, are sad, but on the Other Side, they are celebrating the Homecoming!
Suggestion: be honest. Tell him you don’t have the money to send and share with him your thoughts and concerns. I know, it’s probably not that simple, but is honesty ever simple?
Jeff’s article suggest there was a pandemic. It was NOT A PANDEMIC DAMNIT. 2. The sun is much closer than 93 million miles lol. Go read 16 Emergency Landings get your map flat one and globe. Cant F deny Emergency Landings of jets.
3. Regarding money 💰 first find hubby, figure a way you can wire him money. Sounds too simple
But don’t know all intricacies of situation.
Earth is flat.
Still
Or
Show me the curve and prove earth is spinning at 1,000 mph and there’s water 💦 clinging by gravity that cannot be measured. Hmmmm water souls know water seeks its own level never bends.
I don't presume that the current global earth model is necessaily correct: I believe the gravitational theory does not have sufficient power to hold the universe together and that space is anything but an empty vacuum. I suspect an interplay between and among these layers: where exactly is the Earth flat? I see trees and hills and mountains and clouds and caves and oceans that go to untold depth, below which there are even more things. Despite shortcomings with the curent model, however, I am at a complete and utter loss to explain many astronomy features. This is the hardest most predictive science there is: a solar or lunar eclipse can be reliably calculated thousands of years into the future, for example...
It is generally believed that NASA predicts eclipses using advanced mathematics, based on the heliocentric globe model.
In reality, NASA predicts eclipses using the Saros cycles recorded by the ancient Babylonian and other astronomers for thousands of years. And unsurprisingly, ancient astronomy was based on a geocentric flat Earth model.
I'll have to read about Saaros cycles. As I said my biggest problem with flat Earth is that I cannot grasp how astronomy works. It's long on shortcomings to the current model but I haven't seen a lot that sufficiently replaces it...
My knee-jerk reaction is to alert the authorities. Your loved one has been KIDNAPPED! it will happen again and again even if we get through this episode.
Trust has been irreparably violated. Trust only yourself and your intuition.
Just mentioning the police offhand seemed to clear things up quite a bit. Yesterday Tee and Ka went to paint a house for some money. I'm happy they're playing nice for the time. It won't last...
Is it possible that Ka Is a willing participant in this fucked up mess? You mentioned the brothers painted a house. Is there no opportunity to break away from Tee?
No one knows the situation better and has more experience with all of it than you. If I were you, I'd be leaning heavily on my intuition right now.
My intuition says brother Tee is beating up my husband for his lunch money. I'm treading very cautiously and trying to buy some time. I wish Ka had reported the motorbikes stolen, but he didn't want to make a fuss over it since it was his brother and all. It's a slippery slope and I'm contemplating getting the police involved, though I'm not really sure what they could do...
Damn sure that this is not what it appears to be, something fishy for sure. Know anyone back there that could investigate for you besides the cops?
I'm messaging with the neighbor but I'm not sure he'll be able to help other than tell me whether Ka is staying at the bungalow (he is not). Kuhn Chef has reiterated that Ka is indeed scared of Tee and this mafa stuff, but he did not give any input on whether I should alert the police...
What Kyle said Amy. This sounds a little bit like a Mexican zebra
Had to look that up. Zonkey, a new twist on a classic scam.
Can we help you clarify the situation? I'm going to ask you a whole bunch of clarifying questions. Many of them are unthinkable. Many of them will seem outrageous. I don't know you, or your family, or the Thai culture. What you describe is clearly very very upsetting. It seems you are hoping for a good outcome. It seems terribly hard not to be able to trust and rely on your family! I will try to think with you about this situation. REMEMBER, though. I can't tell you what you should do.
THE QUESTION
Ka, your husband, has been "kidnapped by his brother Tee." Should you send him ransom money? Can you? Do you have $50 to send? Will that be enough? What you want to decide is should you send money to Ka?
FIRST: What happens to Ka if you don't send it? You didn't discuss this outcome. Does Tee harm Ka? Does Ka lose his job? (Is he unemployed.)
Further discussion: Why is Ka so eager to get money? It sounds like Tee is the one who really needs the money. Does Tee owe money to the Thai mafia? Will the mafia harm Tee if Ka doesn't pay Tee?
You say Tee kidnapped Ka. How does Tee prevent Ka from leaving?
You say Tee is an addict. You have given Tee money previously (I'm not rereading your post correct me if I'm wrong.) Tee has stolen possessions from you. Tee has lied to you and to Ka and to the mafia. The mafia is bad. Is Tee also "bad" (meaning untrustworthy)? I don't think Tee is uncomfortable with taking your money and lying and/or stealing. It seems he has done this before.
Tee wants to be able to do what he wants with no consequences or responsibilities. In fact he probably doesn't think of drugs and consequences in the same thought. Probably all he thinks is "I REALLY REALLY need to take drugs because I'm feeling bad" (unhappy victim) AND THEN "I REALLY REALLY need money to pay off my drug dealers or I will get hurt (unhappy victim) But he never puts drug use together with its consequences.
He has gotten in trouble with the Thai Mafia before. PREDICTION: Tee is an addict. He will be unable to control his addiction (based on past history). The Mafia will, therefore, always be a threat to you and Ka because of Tee.
Does Tee promise to reform? Does Ka hope Tee will behave and plead with you on Tee's behalf?
Is sending the money the end of the matter?
MY CONCLUSION
Tee is on a repetitive treadmill. Needs drug. Has no money. Borrows money from the Mafia (or steals from them. to get drugs) Mafia threatens him when he fails to repay them. He promises he will get the money. Eventually, he gets it from Ka--and then from you if Ka has no money. You are too scared of the Mafia to refuse him. He pays off the Mafia. NOW RETURN TO BEGINNING OF THIS PARAGRAPH AND KEEP REPEATING
You can't get Tee to stop. He and the Mafia are happy because they can rely on you and Ka to fund Tee's addiction. You are thinking Tee will say "That was a close call! I avoided the Mafia by the skin of my teeth. I'm ashamed that I lost control of my drug addiction. I'm ashamed that I put my brother and sister in law in peril. I am so grateful they bailed me out (again). I will never do anything like this again." (until next time)
Tee is deluded (majority of addicts are deluded). He will be happy and grateful that you bailed him out. WHEW! Need some drugs to celebrate! OR Need some drugs to feel better because of depression. Can't function without drugs. Jealous of you and Ka. You OWE him this money because he's an unhappy Mafia victim and life has dealt him a raw deal.
Ask your friends and relatives what they think. What does Ka say? Ask him if he is scared of the Mafia. Ask him if he thinks Tee will pay off the Mafia or spend your money on drugs. Ask him if he is free to leave. I don't think you can talk to Tee or the Mafia. They will do what they can to get more and more money from you. Maybe Tee has also managed to convince Ka that this time will go better.
I'm so sorry for everybody. I recently read a Meme which showed graffiti reading "Life is pain." Another graffiti artist appended, "AU CHOCOLAT." It now reads: "Life is pain AU CHOCOLAT."
Are you the golden goose, the horn of plenty, the magic fairy? Once they realize you will do everything possible to give them money, they will never stop. Do you agree?
Is Ka deluded? Is he able to think past this crisis? Do Tee and Ka think only in the short term (most addicts don't have long range plans--they are using drugs to cope in the short term.) In that case Ka is really upset that his brother is hurting (is Tee also going through withdrawal?). Maybe Ka feels responsible? Ask Ka why he thinks you should give Tee money. Because it worked so well previously?
Oh Amy, the only thing I believe is that you can't trust Tee or the Mafia. Use your money to help Ka leave Tee and separate himself from Tee who seems a bad influence.
I know that's what you're trying to do. One thing you could do is interview someone who knows the mafia to find out what is most likely to happen if Tee doesn't pay off his debt. No chance of treatment for Tee? Does Tee even WANT to get rehabilitated? Ka has known Tee longer than you have. Does he trust him?
You didn't mention this, but can you appeal to the police? Are they corrupt? If I were the police I would have trouble believing that a brother could kidnap his brother and demand ransom from his sister in law. The fact that Ka is demanding the money seems terribly suspicious. Do you ever talk to Tee? What does Tee tell you? Can you threaten Tee that you will have him arrested (possession of drugs) if he bothers you?
What do you think of risk/benefit ratio for mRNA Covid vaccines?
What do you think of risk/benefit ratio for eating a sugary donut one time? Or getting regular nights of sleep?
What do you think of risk/benefit ratio of paying ransom money to Tee?
What good thing (benefit) is likely to happen if you give Ka and Tee $50?
Tee and Ka will be happy.
Ka will return to you.
Tee will pay off his debt.
Tee will control his drug use or other expenses so he doesn't have to ask you for more money
What's the risk for giving Tee money?
You lose your money
Tee needs more money and kidnaps Ka again--and you are in the same situation again
What good thing (benefit) will happen from NOT giving Ka and Tee $50?
You won't lose your money.
Tee is less likely to ask you again for money.
What's the risk of NOT giving money to Ka and Tee?
You didn't save Ka and will feel guilty for not trusting him and his brother
The Mafia will harm Tee or Ka.
You have to face uncomfortable truths--can you trust your family?
Ka will never forgive you and you will experience severe marital conflict which is awful because you love your husband.
Whatever you decide to do--Thank you for your substack. Also: You seem like a wonderful person and wife.
Diana you are absolutely spot on regarding everything you posted especially as it regards Tee's addiction. This story of relapse and recovery on this cycle is over two decades old. Mar, my mother in law and their mom, lamented this stuff for years. I've seen Tee in every stage of addiction: there's the maintanance stage where he's working, making enough to fund his habit, laying low and minding his own business, then there's the crack up stage where he's sort of self destructing and doesn't care who he hurts in the family. I've seen him trying to detox from his addiction (that's a total mess he eats everything in sight sleeps all the time and doesn't clean up or sometimes even flush the toilet in the bathroom). Because I've stayed with the family I'd say he's lived with us or in a next door bungalow say for maybe 1-2 years of that time.
I've also seen brother Tee totally clean and sober and talking a good game, as he did when he came out of prison on March 1 of 2020 after a two year stint. He was enthusiastic about staying clean and getting a job driving taxis again. Unfortunately March of 2020 was about the worst time in the world for a recovering addict to come out of jail and want to become a taxi driver. Covid stupid caused many a junkie relapse and Tee was one of them: they threw money at people and told them to stare at walls and forgo all of the scheduled activities that kept them clean.
I have never given Tee money directly. During 2020 however when I was seperated from my husband in the USA I did send Ka several Moneygrams, which I later learned had mostly been used to fund Tee's habits. Any money I send Ka will NOT go to Ka at all. That much I do know.
I am considering going to the police on this. Tee can sometimes get violent if his back is against a wall. Junkies unfortunately are good at fabricating stories to justify their behavior. I think he's justifying it with this idea that we contributed to his brother and mother's death somehow.
The mafia stuff is the wildcard here. They have no reason to kill my husband, say. Sending money enables the cycle to continue and it really never seems to end. A lot of my desperation to get Ka out of Phuket and to America is to get out of this situation. It's like the air is clearer without this cloud hanging over us...
Yes. Killing your husband would be like killing the goose that lays the golden eggs. No more money if that happens. Also possible involvement with the police!
Tee is like a drowning person who grabs at any swimmer who tries to rescue him. When I took lifesaving, they trained us to be careful because drowning people would push us down in their quest to save themselves. In their desperate need they don't consider whether they are harming others--or even, as you describe above, feel justified. SO SORRY you are going through all this.
Excellent questions, Diana. I would swear you’ve brain-scanned me : ) I tend to sort through details and game-out decisions until it’s too late to act, and the chips fall where they may. My son accuses me of analysis paralysis. Often, there’s already a still, small voice in my head—call it intuition—that tells me I need to do what I don’t really want to do, although it would be best in the long run. Some kind of middle road seems wise, but it’s still tough!
I'm like you. I love sorting out details. I also like interviewing everyone around me to see what they think. Finally, I think the action I will or should take emerges--like the messages from the 8 ball that I used to play with as a child.
P.S. Does your son know what you should do?
Sometimes, calculating angles is more interesting than solving issues. Or maybe I have a touch of learned helplessness. I hope not! I’ll have to think about it ; ) My son is a bit like me that way, except he’s a pretty good golfer who believes “just relax and take a swing” is the more productive way to go. There’s merit in that too. It’s all about balance, no?
Amy, I would just apply the saying we have all been saying, which is, You cannot comply your way out of tyranny. I think it applies on all scales and in all situations. You are not responsible for the evil deeds of a drug addict. I know the repercussions may be deep, but that evil bro is playing on your guilt. You are not guilty.
That's what has been going on for a very long time. Playing on guilt is the exact correct phrase for it he does it to Ka too we've got similar astrology. Both me and my husband were relieved when Tee stole everything because at least he left afterwards...
I love the memes, but I do know a mom who “loves” her adult daughter so much she bailed her out of jail twice in six months for the same offense. Daughter skipped both times, then got busted a third time and held without bail. Now she’s spending a year in jail when she could have paid a fine for the first offense and learned a lesson. Sometimes, enabling bad behavior feels like being a loving and tolerant shelter, but it becomes co-dependence. IMHO, when daughter lit her own boat on fire, she needed tough love, not fuel and more rope. I don’t know if any of that applies to you and Ka, so I’m lifting up prayers for y’all.
if i have to choose, do i a) hang out on the beach with my lovely exotic wife (exotic being a culturally relative term) or b) go off on a bender with my addict brother who just stole all my shit.
boy this is a tough one
LOL unfortunately the lovely exotic wife is not there to hang out with right now. I hope I'm being tongue in cheek on the kidnapped thing Ka probably was lured out by brother Tee wanting to talk or something and now he's stuck somewhere. My husband did not want Tee to know he was staying at the bungalow alone, if that tells you anything...
the Tee bungalow burglary happened how long ago? hopefully this is a rescue mission or intervention or maybe repossession of what was taken that hasn't been sold? Tee has been a known quantity for awhile. good people do horrible things when they have a monkey on their back
Yeah I started asking about the motorbikes when I had Ka on video and even dropped something about how we should have called the police about that. The tone changed but in a good way in that Tee and Ka went to work an odd job together painting a house. I've just been stalling for time on the money but it seems to be a winning strategy...
looking for highfive emoji
Off the top of my head I'd say give the $50 or so, at least for now, but as another poster said, "trust your intuition". Best of luck.
$50 will buy me a week, then he'll come back again methinks...
Yes, he will come back . . . and come back . . . and come back. People like that have zero morals. He probably won't even waste any brain cell energy feeling guilty. You will not be able to appeal to his "better self" to resolve this. Kidnappers always threaten the kidnapees' families to NOT go to the police. But trying to pay a ransom on their own frequently doesn't go well. This is comparable to dealing with terrorists . . . if one tries to negotiate and pays a ransom, it just encourages them TO DO IT AGAIN. Which is why the only sane response is to NOT give in to their demands, even though that often results in a tragic outcome for the kidnapped victims. It is really a lose-lose scenario dealing with immoral criminals, which obviously is what Tee is. And certainly the Mafia! If you successfully appease Tee this time, what's stopping him from doing it again? If you CAN buy Ka's freedom, he MUST be prepared to get the hell "out of Dodge" where his brother can NEVER find him again!!!! My guess is, from things you have said in the past, that the cops are too corrupt and/or too disinterested to ever be able to prevent a repeat of this incident. IF you can buy Ka's freedom this time, going to the cops might just end up making things worse for Ka because Tee will then have a reason for revenge. Does Ka have a trusted friend (or relative with no contact with Tee) in another town that he could take shelter with? Then, somehow you need to do something about the immigration thing. Mexico? It's dangerous, but it sounds like Thailand is dangerous now, too! If he could hook up with the U.N. mass relocation program (U.S. invasion operatives!), at least he would get transportation, food, etc. Unless something else is seriously (realistically) on the table— in the way of finally getting a U.S. visa— he may not have any better options.
Unfortunately, any way you look at it, this is a bad situation. Hopefully things will work out, but you also need to realize that it is possible they won't. "The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray"!
At times like this we need to keep things in perspective: this time-space physical reality is an illusion. We are NOT these physical bodies. It is our Soul, our Consciousness, that is a part of Infinity or Source Energy: THAT is what we REALLY ARE, and nothing bad can really ever happen to us! When we shed our physical bodies we just re-enter the Non-physical, and it is completely okay. We, on this side, are sad, but on the Other Side, they are celebrating the Homecoming!
Bribe someone who can help? (Only half joking.)
If only I knew who to bribe...
Someone who will sign a vaccine card?
Thanks for the new ammunition on a Friday night!!
You have some classics in here. Many people truly don't understand the concept of bodily autonomy!
Suggestion: be honest. Tell him you don’t have the money to send and share with him your thoughts and concerns. I know, it’s probably not that simple, but is honesty ever simple?
Jeff’s article suggest there was a pandemic. It was NOT A PANDEMIC DAMNIT. 2. The sun is much closer than 93 million miles lol. Go read 16 Emergency Landings get your map flat one and globe. Cant F deny Emergency Landings of jets.
3. Regarding money 💰 first find hubby, figure a way you can wire him money. Sounds too simple
But don’t know all intricacies of situation.
Earth is flat.
Still
Or
Show me the curve and prove earth is spinning at 1,000 mph and there’s water 💦 clinging by gravity that cannot be measured. Hmmmm water souls know water seeks its own level never bends.
Prayers sent to solve a sticky situation!!
Let me take this opportunity to recall what the generally accepted theory is (a.k.a. globe doxa):
The Earth is supposedly spinning at 1,000 mph as it revolves around the Sun at 66,600 mph while the Sun shoots through space at 450,000 mph.
Notice the 666 there? Coincidence, no doubt. In any case, I believe a truly free and rational mind can only laugh at the above joke.
I don't presume that the current global earth model is necessaily correct: I believe the gravitational theory does not have sufficient power to hold the universe together and that space is anything but an empty vacuum. I suspect an interplay between and among these layers: where exactly is the Earth flat? I see trees and hills and mountains and clouds and caves and oceans that go to untold depth, below which there are even more things. Despite shortcomings with the curent model, however, I am at a complete and utter loss to explain many astronomy features. This is the hardest most predictive science there is: a solar or lunar eclipse can be reliably calculated thousands of years into the future, for example...
It is generally believed that NASA predicts eclipses using advanced mathematics, based on the heliocentric globe model.
In reality, NASA predicts eclipses using the Saros cycles recorded by the ancient Babylonian and other astronomers for thousands of years. And unsurprisingly, ancient astronomy was based on a geocentric flat Earth model.
I'll have to read about Saaros cycles. As I said my biggest problem with flat Earth is that I cannot grasp how astronomy works. It's long on shortcomings to the current model but I haven't seen a lot that sufficiently replaces it...
666 it is a cruel joke on all of us.
450,000 mph
Man we are going really
Fast
Here’s the thing put your hand out car window going 75 mph
Emergency landings check your maps
Ok say the sun is 93 million miles away our eyes see 93 million miles away
Come on
No it’s really big BIG
AND then why is space all black?
Even Einstein could not prove earths spinning really?
The sun and moon much closer than we think.
Hell people don’t even know there next town or neighbor state
Cosmos is whatever goombahs like
DeGrasse claim
Earth is pear shaped
No it’s most likely flat
And the North Pole is still never moves
Hmmmm
Globe out
All globalist report to Klaus and receive your Borg orders lol
When one looks at the Moon, it is obvious it is very near and we are still.
Agreed and the way the sun light come down at angles suggest it much closer.
This is SO distressing!
My knee-jerk reaction is to alert the authorities. Your loved one has been KIDNAPPED! it will happen again and again even if we get through this episode.
Trust has been irreparably violated. Trust only yourself and your intuition.
Just mentioning the police offhand seemed to clear things up quite a bit. Yesterday Tee and Ka went to paint a house for some money. I'm happy they're playing nice for the time. It won't last...
Is it possible that Ka Is a willing participant in this fucked up mess? You mentioned the brothers painted a house. Is there no opportunity to break away from Tee?
I don't think Ka is a very willing participant...but he does seem to be getting a break from them. Here's hoping...
All the best regarding your predicament.
I know you have other things to think about, but given you raised the issue:
The Sun orbits above the flat Earth and illuminates the surface locally (similarly to a spotlight).