I’m back in Las Vegas and for the third year in a row my date is with some Valentina salsa picante Mexican hot sauce. I still haven’t figured out my dinner menu though:perhaps fish tacos even though it’s not Lent yet?
Apparently this date is about sharing some memes and humor with my substack peeps for the third year in a row!
Valentine's Day Memes
Happy Valentine’s Day all! And also happy Ash Wednesday, Singles Day and whatever else you might be celebrating (or not). For the second year in a row I will be spending my day and night with Valentina’s hot sauce and missing my husband. I hope you all make the best of it, whatever you do…
It’s usually a good day for me despite my recent forced seperation from my husband. Over the decades I’ve had Valentine’s days where I was single, dating, married and a few times I was so busy I forgot that it was February 14th. My first husband Oh had a romantic flourish regarding it, perhaps because our baby was born five days prior, whereas he didn’t care for my birthday. I realized that I don’t associate Valentine’s Day with my husband Ka specifically at all. I don’t think it takes a psychic to figure out what day (s) I find most important there.
If you think I am allowed any discretion regarding what happens in my love life you clearly did not spend last weekend at a sleepover party with five teen and pre teen girls between the ages of 8 and 18. The current dating environment is a toxic soup where confusion abounds and distrust is sky high on all sides. But the younger generation is watching and hopefully learning what not to do.
I know it’s shocking but there are actually built in differences between the sexes
Hopefully you can still find ways to meet someone. These might not be the best ways:
I suppose that the current disinterest the Gen Zs and Alphas have towards dating perhaps represents a much needed correction in the system. We’ve denied biological reality for so long and social media has only added jet fuel to the flames. It’s left both sides looking for a unicorn, whether it takes the form of a six foot tall, six figure income, six pack abs guy on one side or the 16 year old virgin who wants to have six kids with you on the other. I think we’re all just looking for love of a lasting kind.
I have sometimes pondered what made Ka different, really than past loves. It had zero of the elements of the billionaire meets virgin romance novels which I devoured at one point in my life and even considered writing myself. But it made for a better story and my soul aligned intuitively as it was chosen by God.
Reflected in my husband I saw so many things about myself which had before that been blind spots. It was like there were shades of colors I’d never known existed and nuances of musical notes which I had not heard prior. I realized recently that that is what love is and should be. It is like a fractal with ever expanding new territory to explore. Some of you may understand this from watching your children grow and evolve.
Love should be as it is always changing yet unchanged. For me it is only from the confines of a stable and monogamous relationship that those depths can be adequately explored.
“Why do you love me?” I remember asking my high school sweetheart many decades ago.
“Because you’re beautiful and intelligent.” My first boyfriend answered breezily many times.
“I can understand.” The German monk weighed in. “Why that answer would seem inadequate.”
I cannot recall a single dream I even had about my high school sweetheart at the time. These things are so obvious only in retrospect. May you embrace your journey whatever it has been.
I hope you find love in whatever form is appropriate. Today and hereafter Amen.
This song always amused me:
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Hilarious.
They fear love because it creates a world they can't control...
Amen.